An Archaic Etonian Musket

On this day of our Lord, 14th August 2013, Britain’s once proud reputation as an island of jurisprudence and a subjective cloak of morality, has been seriously challenged by a Toffs’ Rebellion.  This challenge to our rights, have made me question the paradigm of our democratic status-quo.  This new polity defined as a Magna Britannicus Fascismo,  as created an Orwellian ubiquity of intrusion and terror.  Big Brother does not effect everyone directly, though the indirect effects has built up an unstoppable presence to the periphery and has now begun an unfettered attack on the children, without clemency or civilised protocols. 

This offensive as been an attack on their innocence, virtue, culture and values.  This essay will  attempt to understand the headman of the Toffs’ Rebellion and ask the question, “Is this a war against the Age of Enlightenment’s values and principles?”  If it is, then will absolutism return to a digital age with the menacing moulded technology for the advancement of the despotic self-esteem of the narcissistic toff?  As the object of this obsessive rebellion, which have transcended a decade, this text aims to enlighten you into the sociological, psychological and biological phenomena of a prolonged abusive attack on the libido of naturalist existence.  Will this archaic Etonian Musket be oiled for the defence of Britain’s prestige or will it continue to attempt to lube the children, with the endeavoured plot of bugger?

The chief of this Toffs’ Rebellion is prime minister David Cameron.  As the descendent of William IV’s bastard child, he has sometimes looked at Elizabeth II crown with a sense of contradictory nostalgia.  With his principled grandiose perception of the presence of a salient Hanoverian birth right, he has sought to exert his will on man’s prerogative, by delving into the psychotic crude avenues of sexual control, for the purpose of empowering his masculine ideals of autonomous fundamentalist libido.  With the passionate eyes of his perception of Caesar, he has thus prolonged the onslaught of sexualising mythological Britannia.  This is exercised from the shadows, where he lurks with his monitor, of sexed up sensationalised normality, by hiding crude and untoward cameras amongst the family guy carpet slippers of the bedroom.  He has defined the assertive protest of such animalistic acts of primitive splendour, as an act of treason which must be purged and cleansed from one’s psyche. 

In our clearly defined constitutional identity of parliamentary democracy, such ways are not held as the protocolled intricacies of state.  On the contrary, such egotistical dark obsessions, existed in the 1940s, which led to crisis and the aligned guns of satanic penetration.  He defines a new world order of a more intimate penetration, by aligning himself with the Secretary of State, to advance his kinky iconoclastic ideals on the Western hemisphere, with the political crude toolbox of propaganda.  When the Secretary of State entered this insurgency, it gave birth to a phenomena and nightmarish crisis, amongst the church pews up and down the land. 

This fundamental revolution aligned against piety and fertility, this cause of war against innocent beauty and mythological Aphrodite, this unprovoked attack on the centuries of the progress stemmed from the ‘Age of Reason,’ has no theocratic or political ideals of rationality.  As their wanton struggle defies our laws, our nature, our god, our intrinsic perception of good and evil, one cannot define such acts of devilish endeavour as a professional cause for the furtherance of mankind, as it is purported to destroy and freak mankind. It is thus appropriate that one takes into consideration the haughty nature of their onslaught and define it as it truly is.  Once these rebels received universal notoriety, their unsavoury maverick antics, became the definitive embodiment of a, ‘Toffs’ Rebellion!’ 

Their fundamentalist ideology which is advanced as Their Eleven Principled Codes of Rebellion are:

1. If you are black and listen to a song that a black person did not manufacture, THOU ART GAY!
2. If you are black and cook yourself a healthy, delicious hot meal, THOU ART GAY!
3. If you speak and write the language and accent of your country of residence and nationality, YOU ARE GAY!
4. If you are black and have aspirations to work in any career where you would wear a suit, THOU ART GAY!
5. If you are black and have respect for your parents, community and society, THOU ART GAY!
6. If you are black and have respect for women you are soft and thus, THOU ART GAY!
7. If you are black and weak, THOU ART GAY!
8. If you are black and read Shakespeare or any other literary text, THOU ART GAY!
9. If you are black and appreciate high culture or academia, THOU ART GAY!
10. If you are black and live within the statute codes, THOU ART GAY!
11. If you are black and want to be a rapper, singer, dancer or athlete, THOU ART STRAIGHT!

Their Eleven Principled Codes of Rebellion (EPCR) is not aimed at the toffs but on the students and pensioners.  I know this because they had started on me, eleven years ago,  when I was a student and threatened to kill some of my family for not living out their gay fantasies.  Is it an important issue for our representatives to advance the rights of man, so that we can be a beacon of modernity in the sphere of utopia virtue.  The narcissistic despot of Hanoverian nostalgia, David Cameron now wishes to cheat to make me his equal.  As I am not a politician, it is absurd that the prime minster of the day would view me on a higher level than him, by trying to make me his equal by having my eyes gauged out. 

He thinks that strength is gained cheaply, against a person who has £6.67, by dictating their love life, so that the figure of one’s subjective passion is perceived to be less beautiful than his.  As beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it is weak for one to compare one’s own figment of beauty, to another persons, especially a premier.  Instead of the EPCR, they should have realistically coined the acronym for the Eleven Principled Codes of Woeful Vanity, (EPCR).  I am not embracing panic, as this issue as lasted eleven years with no civilised decorum of amicable dialogue.  I am not displaying unpatriotic fervour, as I am one who embraces the core British perceived values of liberty, democracy and the rule of law.  As a subject of the realm, one has no other patriotic duty higher than respect for our constitutional principles of statute protocol as this embodies every civilised function of modernity. 

When these codes are broken for the vanity of our democratic representative, we lose the respect of the planet and become a nation of toffs and bastards.  The military is thus no longer confident has to whether they are advancing Britannia or the toffs, the hard working taxpayers know not if the levy is for the street light or the digital red-lights of sordid democracy.  Banbury becomes Bohemia and the mythological Britannia becomes the harlot.  This is our British constitutional rights, whose foundation lay on the 1215 Magna Carter.  When the water turned Scarlet at Normandy in 1945, it was to defend rights and ethics, it was to quell the rebellion of the beast.  Now there is a new rebellion,ones which attempts to sexualise the gods, one based on speculative emotion and not the ministerial codes, one which makes the British picture, one of tiny gaudy gratification. 

What became of the big picture, did you not hear the whispers across the land of Big Society, what is this phenomena and what does it represent?  How does our Hanoverian protégé, graphically advance the British society’s big picture around the world?  Does this new perception of our society affect the image of Harry Potter, the Manchester cub scouts, the Nottingham fishermen or the south Yorkshire miners?  Does it teach the children around the world that sexual gratification is an intimate private act or does it create pornography of the tyrannically abused.  If that sexually abused victim of rebellion gave in and put his hands up before saying, “I give up, carryout your political fantasies, I belong to your political party!”  Will that make our Big Society at home and abroad more civilised, dynamic and puritanical.  If it does then why not officially change our constitution from a parliamentary democracy to a Magna Britannicus Fascismo.  For then the ghosts of Hanoverian court, would no longer haunt with malice, their bastardly descended neo-charlatan of  buggered bohemian bureaucratic boff!